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Setting A Place For Your Guests!
For any sort of entertaining, you must serve refreshments. Last
month I discussed dishes (Senses
of Living® November). Now I’m going to assume a sit-down
event in your home, and discuss those accoutrement you might need
or want to entertain your guests. Please note: the following tips
and guidelines are not for buffets, cocktail parties or other “general”
parties; these events have their own guidelines separate from a
sit-down dinner party.
Cutlery: I have one set of
cutlery. I use it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and all special
occasions (that is, entertaining). It is a cheap set given to me
by my mother when I got my first apartment in college, a quarter
of a century ago. No, it’s not the most attractive set. It’s
also not the most comfortable set. It is certainly not the most
sophisticated or glamorous. But, they work. Plus, not once have
I had a guest’s attention diverted from my food to my cutlery.
I also don’t have to worry about expensive cutlery ending
up accidentally in my trashcan, or (for those who have them) in
the garbage disposal, or (for those with dubious friends) in a guest’s
pocket. Cutlery is a means toward enjoying a meal, not the goal
in itself.
Placemats/Tablecloths/Napkins:
I set tables with different moods. Different seasons and different
food themes inspire different colors, shapes and motifs. To that
end, and since I am an entertaining professional, I have collected
a wide array of placemats, tablecloths and cloth napkins. They are
designed to add a bit of color and texture to enhance the black
and/or white dishes I use, that in turn enhance the food. Most of
the time, I select accessories that connect the table to the room,
but not always. I have a teal and turquoise motif that looks fantastic
on the table with the addition of black and white elements, but
there isn’t another speck of teal or turquoise in the dining
room … no one has ever refused to dine because of that! Oh,
before I forget: if you are entertaining via a sit-down dinner,
you MUST use cloth napkins. Paper towels and paper napkins just
add to our disposal problems, and waste trees. Every single one
of my cloth napkins, whether white, black or multicolored, has come
from resale shops. I think I can usually get 4 for $1 or $2 at thrift
stores. Just do it.
Serving Dishes: Serving dishes
do NOT have to match your other dishes! Sure, they can, and such
an effect will be attractive, and I’ve done this many times.
Alternatively, the serving dishes can be very ornamental, and not
match anything! I’ve done this just as many times, because
when I serve multiple courses, I can use the serving pieces to give
each coarse a slightly different visual flavor (and I don’t
have to worry about purchasing a huge number of pieces from the
same basic set of dishes). Finally, please do not feel as though
you have to use separate serving pieces! This is my favorite way
to serve food: directly from oven/stove to table, without transferring
the food into a serving dish at all. This is a no-brainer when one
is using a casserole. However, sometimes I make stews or soups or
fricassees or other recipes in large Dutch ovens (like lidded frying
pans on steroids) or some kind of stovetop skillet; I always serve
these directly on the table. I have invested in some table pads,
and potholders, but mostly a variety of trivets that keep the hot
pots from scorching the maple wood table. If any one of you is thinking,
“Oh, that’s so tacky,” then I’ll say, “Go
ahead. Dirty more dishes. Waste more water. Use up more of your
valuable time. Keep yourself in the kitchen longer, and thus away
from your guests longer. Now, in my home, THAT is tacky.”
Glassware: You will need a
water glass for each diner. Depending on what else you are serving,
you may want another stout glass for non-alcoholic beverages, and
another glass or two for wine(s). You can use a stemmed goblet for
water and non-alcoholic beverages, but I prefer just a simple, elegant
straight-sided glass because they are easier to clean and because
this serves as a clear communication that one is dealing with non-alcoholic
beverages. Now, for the wine, you must make some decisions: 1)
First of all, I usually only serve wine rather than hard
liquor with dinner [or even before dinner], because one’s
taste buds can be numbed by the excessive alcohol in distilled spirits,
leading to decreased sensation of the food. 2)
Secondly, I don’t plan meals around particular wines.
I buy wine that is a “value,” and which I either know
to be food friendly, or, if it isn’t, I haven’t wasted
much of an investment [we’ll discuss wine in a future column].
3) Because some wines may not pair
particularly well with a course or two, I like to offer at least
two [a red and a white], and maybe three wines, and I like to offer
them simultaneously [“tandem tasting”] to both increase
the opportunity for enjoyment, and to offer education about how
different wines have different tastes with different foods …
it’s really eye-opening when you stop and TASTE the wine with
the food, rather than quaffing. 4)
Because I am clumsy, I don’t buy expensive wine glasses; until
recently, all of my glasses were from resale shops (and believe
me, no one would guess it! You’d be amazed at some of the
spectacular stemware you can acquire at resale shops). Within the
last few months, I have had the opportunity to visit IKEA in suburban
Chicago. Usually, I eschew huge stores like that, but IKEA has an
excellent reputation for fair trade and employee benefits. I have
become infatuated with their standard issue “white wine glass.”
These glasses have a huge, egg-shaped bowl that I use for both red
and white wine. The best part? They only cost $1.99 each! Yes, they
are delicate, but so are $50 glasses (and unless you have an exceptionally
trained nose, the subtleties gained by drinking wine from some of
the “specialty” glasses will be lost, especially if
you are drinking the wine with food; those specialty glasses are
intended to be used for wine-tasting, not wine-drinking-with-dinner.).
Despite certain ethnic traditions, don’t drink wine out of
a tumbler; invest in some affordable stemware. I hope I don’t
need to mention this, but Styrofoam cups and plastic glasses are
not permissible at a sit-down dinner.
Candles: I have discussed candles
extensively in previous Senses of Living® columns, so I won’t
bore you with a reiteration. Some key points to consider: for a
sit-down dinner, avoid or minimize the use of scented candles (and
other scented products). Let the aromas of your food fill the room
and home; don’t make them compete with other fragrances (including
personal perfume or cologne), which can really assault your senses.
If you have problems with pet or other odors in your home, burning
some scented candles or incense or use of other aromas a few hours
before your event can help offset the offending odors without negatively
impacting on your food. For the sake of enhancing light, though,
candles do add a wonderful glow. I like them on the dining table,
but not on the space between guests (I keep one end of my dining
table free of place settings, and that is where I put candles and
other types of décor [see below]).
Other Décor: One could
argue that by specially decorating your home for a dinner party,
you are showing your guests how much you value their attendance.
On the other hand, one could also argue that you are trying to impress
and awe your guests, and that sends the wrong message. All I ever
do is use that far end of my dining room table where I have candles
set up, and incorporate some seasonal foliage, or flowers, or glass
ornaments (like shiny Yule tree ornaments, all tucked in a bowl),
or fruit, or potted plants, or unusual dishes, or something along
those lines. I don’t like “stuff” occupying the
space between me and my guests, unless it is food. If you must have
a centerpiece, or if you table is square or round rather than oval
like mine is, just keep it LOW. Magazines and television often show
huge, spectacular centerpieces; they are just wrong. Period.
Though I didn’t mention it last month, I will emphasize here:
plastic/paper plates are not an option for entertaining. If you
don’t have enough “real” dishes, then either 1)
don’t invite so many people, or 2)
head on our to the thrift store(s) and get more “real”
dishes. You are not being more frugal, in case you think you are.
If you are inclined to use disposable items to save time, I applaud
your mindfulness, but must insist that adding to our already considerable
landfill problem while unnecessarily wasting natural resources is
just not an option. We will revisit these issues when I discuss
(in a future column) entertaining larger groups in your home in
a format other than a sit-down dinner.
Meanwhile, start entertaining by celebrating any of the following
holidays:
Drunk and Drugged Driving Prevention Month:
While I am a staunch believer that our own bodies are ours to do
with as we please, I am vehemently against inflicting our own choices
on other people. If you plan to party, either select a designated
driver for transportation purposes, or hire a cab. If you can’t
afford to hire a cab, then you shouldn’t be out partying in
the first place.
Hi Neighbor Month: This seems to be another of those “holidays”
created by greeting card companies, so I’m going to co-opt
it. We need more sociality in the world today. I cannot believe
the number of people who do not know their neighbors. Sure, I can
be annoyed by “too much” neighborliness, but there is
also such a thing as “too little.”
Safe Toys and Gifts Month: We see
television reports all of the time about children hurt or killed
by dangerous toys. I have two things to say. First, children today
receive TOO MANY toys. I don’t mean to sound like an old fogey,
but this rampant commercialism is creating a monster in the form
of our next generation. Secondly, make safety a top priority. Your
children’s safety is the #1 job you have as a parent. If you
have to read back issues of Consumer Reports, visit your library
and do it. Don’t be lazy when it comes to your children’s
safety. Bottom line: buy fewer toys, and buy safe toys.
Stress Free Family Holiday Month: Having
lived through too many stressful holidays, part of my mission with
Global Organic Designs (GOD-DESS) Lifestyle Management is to minimize
everyone’s stress during holidays and every day. If you adopt
the attitude that all expectations are self-imposed, you will realize
that the only one you will disappoint is yourself. To offset the
effects of stress, try dancing more, as I describe in this month’s
Sensational Living® column, “Dancing the Night Away.”
Stress is a killer; don’t let it kill you. Call or email
me if you need some outside help.
With so much conflict in the world, we must learn to honor the
holidays of other countries and their people: December 1 (Self Governing
Republic Day, Central African Republic; National Day, Romania),
December 2 (Independence Day, Laos), December 4 (Tupou I Day, Tonga),
December 6 (King's Birthday, Thailand), December 8 (Independence
and Republic Day, Tanzania; Constitution Day, Uzbekistan), December
9 (Constitution Day, N. Mariana Islands), December 10 (Foundation
of the MPLA Worker's Party Day, Angola; International Human Rights
Day, Cambodia, Equatorial Guinea, Namibia and the Turks & Caicos
Islands; Constitution Day, Thailand), December 11 (National Holiday,
Burkina Faso), December 12 (Independence Day, Kenya; Constitution
Day, Russia; Neutrality Day, Turkmenistan), December 13 (Republic
Day, Malta; Constitution Day, Russia [varies]), December 14 (National
Day, St. Lucia), December 15 (Constitution Day, Nepal; Kingdom Day,
Dutch St. Martin), December 16 (Independence Day, Kazakhstan; Anniversary
Day, New Zealand [Canterbury]; Reconciliation Day, South Africa),
December 17 (National Day, Bhutan), December 18 (Republic Day, Niger),
December 19 (Separation Day, Anguilla), December 22 (Unduvap Poya
Day, Sri Lanka; Army Day, Vietnam; Unity Day, Zimbabwe), December
23 (Victory Day, Egypt; Emperor's Birthday, Japan), December 24
(Constitution Day, Yap [Micronesia]), December 29 (King's Birthday,
Nepal), December 30 (Republic Day, Madagascar; Rizal Day, Philippines),
December 31 (Revolution Day, Ghana; Republic Day, Republic of Congo).
Now for a day-by-day breakdown of holidays to honor, respect and
celebrate:
December 1: World AIDS Day: I have
become aware that too many people believe that HIV and AIDS are
manageable, and safe sex practices are falling by the wayside. This
must stop. The current drug cocktails that are available, while
diminishing the impact of the disease, have side effects that lower
the quality of one’s life. Anyone who has seen a friend, family
member, or even a stranger die of AIDS must recognize the need to
stop this scourge around the world.
December 1: Pie Day and Eat A Red Apple
Day: Why not combine two celebrations in one, and make an
apple pie?
December 1: Life Without Art Day: Art
feeds our souls. Some argue that the government should not be in
the business of encouraging art. Unfortunately, sometimes creativity
must be nourished, both emotionally and financially. As a civilized
society, we have the responsibility to promote creativity, for the
betterment of all society. Appreciate Art in all of its forms.
December 2: Abolition of Slavery Day:
Adopted in 1927, this day was set aside to recognize that there
are still human beings being kept (and treated) as slaves. In 2003,
this cannot continue.
December 3: National Roof-Over-Your-Head
Day: if you have a roof over your head, be grateful, for
it could disappear in a moment. If you don’t have a roof over
your head, be optimistic, for it could materialize in a moment.
December 4: Wear Brown Shoes Day:
I keep seeing fashionistas insisting that one must wear brown shoes
with a navy suit. Why? I wear black shoes and a black belt with
a navy suit, and it looks SO much better than brown accessories.
December 4: Cookie Day: Without
realizing it, I selected two multidimensional cookie recipes for
this month’s Simple! Sensible! Sensational!® recipes.
Of course, I could eat cookies every day, being the original cookie
monster.
December 5: Santa's List Day: Not
everyone celebrates Christmas, but I decided to include this “pseudo”
holiday because it gives me yet another opportunity to rant about
materialism. So much of our society is guided by greed, and this
sort of behavior is engrained, indoctrinated and conditioned during
childhood. Emphasizing the merchandising aspect of Christmas rather
than the “real” purpose of the holiday is antithetical
to the purpose of any holiday, but especially Christmas.
December 5: National Sacher Torte Day:
I LOVE Sacher Tortes! But, they are too much trouble for me to make.
Since December 9 is National Pastry Day (see below), why not allow
yourself four or five days to patronize your favorite bakery, and
boost the economy. Or, develop your own baking skills.
December 5: Bathtub Fun Day: I’m
quite guilty of saying, “I don’t have time to take a
bath; I’ll shower instead.” But, as someone who promotes
the bathtub as a means of experiencing the Senses of Living®,
I will take this opportunity to urge everyone to take a long leisurely
bath this Friday night. Add some scented oils and/or soaps, light
some candles, play some gentle music, and bathe …
December 6: National Gazpacho Day: Gazpacho
is a summer dish. I hope this holiday arose in the southern hemisphere,
for it makes no sense in December (except for the red and green
colors). I’ll be presenting a Simple! Sensible! Sensational!®
recipe for gazpacho next summer.
December 7: Letter-Writing Day:
As a society, we just don’t write letters like we used to.
I’m as guilty as anyone. Take some time, and write a “real”
letter. Even if it’s an email, try to use a salutation and
a closing.
December 7: Teacher Appreciation Day: it seems that we’ve
celebrated this day before, but it is impossible to appreciate teachers
too much. They are educating our next generations. Honor and reward
them!
December 8: Bodhi Day: There is
a moderate level of agreement that today is the anniversary of the
enlightenment of Prince Siddhartha Gautama as he sat under the bodhi
tree, meditating to overcome the ignorance inherent in each of us.
One can purchase skeletonized bodhi tree leaves as decor items or
to include with letters or cards to friends, and I do this, but
I think the most important thing to do is to begin or enhance your
route toward mindfulness, as I have written at http://www.soulfulliving.com/mindfulness_gratitude.htm
.
December 8: Brownie Day: I love
brownies, and this is a great time of year to make them and give
them as gifts (and eat a few yourself). Next year I’ll offer
my recipes for brownies.
December 9: National Pastry Day:
I don’t make a lot of pastries, but I do have a simple recipe
for pie crust that I’ll offer one of these days. Baking is
an art, and pastries are a fine art.
December 9: Homemade Gift Day: a
gift made from the heart and the hands is worth far more than one
purchased. I like to gift special people with my baked goods, and
with multi-course wine dinners at Casa Beall.
December 9: Shareware Day: I almost
deleted this holiday, but decided to make an editorial comment:
this day is about sharing software with others, free of charge.
While an argument could be made that software manufacturers are
overcharging the public, I prefer to consider the people who created
the software in the first place. Like all creative people (writers,
designers, musicians, etc.), they deserve remuneration and recognition.
Non-creative people take for granted the non-tangible items that
creative people produce. I have had my own ideas stolen as a paleontologist,
and so I know how piracy feels firsthand (of course, it was done
by one of the world’s most famous paleontologists, so I am
also honored!). I also experienced the CEO of my former company
take my exact words and ideas, and using them in a talk to the entire
company, without crediting me (it was a backhanded compliment, but
I was still honored).
December 10: Festival For The Souls Of
Dead Whales: I’m leaving this in, with a caveat. Various
sites on the web claim this is an Inuit holiday. It isn’t.
While whales are important to Inuit culture, apparently their souls
aren’t. But, instead of just trashing this non-holiday, I
would ask each of you to increase/enhance your knowledge of cetaceans,
and their plight in today’s political and environmental climate.
December 12: Poinsettia Day: I may
be one of the few people who are saddened by poinsettias. The reason
I am saddened is that I have seen so many killed in the spirit of
holiday giving. People take them out into the frigid cold (they
are tropical, heat-loving plants), or abandon them over their vacations
(returning to find a limp or dried mess), or nurture them as leggy
plants through the year, unable to recreate the glorious red sepals.
As someone who advises people on houseplants, there are MUCH better
choices for home décor.
December 13: Santa Lucia Day: To
be honest, this holiday would have passed under my radar were it
not for my Swedish friends (and I don't mean ABBA, though I will
be listening to their music on this day). Lucia was a Sicilian martyr,
and for some reason, Sweden's King Canute declared that the Christmas
season would begin with the Feast of St. Lucia on this date. Swedish
pancake with lingonberries are a great way to start this feast,
though poached salmon with dill sauce, and cardamom-scented lamb
stew are even better ways to finish it. Visit http://www.umkc.edu/imc/stlucia.htm
for a more thorough discussion of this holiday which, like other
winter holidays, is designed to celebrate the "light."
December 13: Cocoa Day: I LOVE cocoa,
and regularly make Mexican hot chocolate, which is flavored with
cinnamon and ground almonds. No need for marshmallows.
December 14: National Bouillabaisse Day:
I did not know that America had such a day, but as a fan of fish
stew in any form, as well as saffron, why not combine them for your
own version of bouillabaisse.
December 15: National Lemon Cupcake Day:
this month, I offer a number of quick bread recipes in Simple! Sensible!
Sensational!® Quick breads and cupcakes are theoretically related,
so perhaps you can make some adjustments on your own.
December 15: Bill of Rights Day: Ratified
on this date in1791, the Bill of Rights is the sum of the first
ten addenda to the Constitution. They provide specific guidelines
for protection of American citizens. In 2003, these guidelines were
ignored when the deceitfully named Patriot Act was passed in the
name of security. What a slap in the face to our founding fathers.
What an act of treason.
December 16: National Chocolate Covered
Anything Day: I’m more fond of chocolate IN things
(such as my Chocolate Chip Cookies and Oatmeal Cookies among the
Simple! Sensible! Sensational! recipes), but some strawberries or
biscotti dipped in chocolate can be pleasant.
December 16: Boston Tea Party: Yet
another example of how early Americans fought to demand their freedom,
and a reminder of how they gave up the “security” of
being “protected” by England in favor of freedom with
representation.
December 17: National Maple Syrup Day: try using maple syrup
as a sweetener in more of your savory dishes; you’ll be surprised
by the depth of flavor it provides.
December 18: National Roast Suckling Pig Day: I go rabid
over Cuban roast pork, but most of my memories of suckling pigs
relate back to working on a hog farm during my teens, and to dissecting
a suckling pig in advanced biology in high school.
December 18: Bake Cookies Day: December
4 was “Cookie Day.” Check out my advice for that date.
December 19: Oatmeal Muffin Day: see
my comments for December 15 (National Lemon Cupcake Day).
December 19: Hanukkah begins: The
Jewish Festival of Lights begins today. While it is generally considered
a minor holiday among Jewish festivals, its proximity to Christmas
has elevated its significance in recent years. Personally, anything
that promotes the celebration of light and encourages mindfulness
of our limited natural resources (Hanukkah is about how one day’s
worth of lamp oil lasted a miraculous eight days) is to be embraced.
December 21: Winter Solstice/Yule:
Even though the solstice occurs at 7:04am on December 22, per http://aa.usno.navy.mil/data/docs/EarthSeasons.html
, any proper celebration would be tonight, so think of this, the
shortest day of the year, as the beginning of the return to the
light.
December 21: Look At The Bright Side Day:
Always look at the bright side; there is no other side. If
you dwell on the dark side, you will only hurt yourself.
December 21: Underdog Day: Some
records indicate both December 17 and December 19 as “Underdog
Day.” I think the most important thing is for those who seem
to be underdogs to turn themselves into Superdogs. No more victim
mentality. Just become a winner.
December 21: World Peace Day: With
the problems in the world today, I pray daily for peace. I put my
political voice forward for peace. I put my social voice forward
for peace (and have received physical threats for this). Stand tall,
stand bravely, and promote peace.
December 22: National Date-Nut Bread Day:
Date-Nut Bread is yet another type of Quick Bread. While
I have not provided an explicit recipe, you can easily adapt “Bret’s
Basic Quick Bread” to include dates as the dominant fruit.
YUM! (and good for you, too).
December 23: Roots Day: Our heritages,
our “roots,” as it were, are important, but how we interact
in our current multiethnic, multicultural societies is just as important.
Do not let our differences outweigh our similarities.
December 24: National Egg Nog Day: I
probably enjoy one cup of eggnog per year, usually at a friend’s
home. I love it, but it doesn’t love me. Everything in moderation.
December 24: Christmas Eve: A Christian
holiday, which I hope Christians remember for its true meaning,
not the commercial meaning.
December 25: Christmas: see my comment
for Christmas Eve.
December 25: National Pumpkin Pie Day: I tend to think of
pumpkin pie associated with Thanksgiving, but given the vitamins
present in pumpkin, use any excuse to eat it. In fact, I have some
terrific pumpkin bread recipes in this month’s Simple! Sensible!
Sensational!® recipes. Enjoy!
December 26: Kwanzaa begins: Kwanzaa
is a celebration of all facets of African-American life. I have
recently had the opportunity to explore the diversity of first generation
African-Americans in Chicago while working on a book project for
Slow Food Chicago, and I continue to be awestruck by the ignorance
of myself and the majority of Americans of this huge continent.
Meanwhile, to learn the specifics of Kwanzaa, visit: http://www.officialkwanzaawebsite.org/
.
December 27: Holocaust Remembrance Day
coincides with the end of Hannukah this year, which I think
is symbolic. Anyone who survived the brutality of the Holocaust
is a miracle, just as that last day of the lamp burning was a miracle,
leading to Hannukah. Do not forget the Holocaust, and do not allow
history to be rewritten by those who claim the Holocaust was fiction.
Those people are vile racists.
December 27: National Fruitcake Day:
I happen to love fruitcake. A friend of my parents made the best
fruitcake, and my mother would soak it in bourbon, and it was a
special treat for months to come. I feel sorry for those who don’t
have happy memories of fruitcake.
December 28: Card Playing Day: I
have no use for card playing in my life. 25 years ago, I was told
I would never survive at college if I didn’t know how to play
bridge. When that was proved false, I left all cards behind me.
Do what you want.
December 28: National Chocolate Day:
See my comments for December 16.
December 28: Call-a-Friend Day: Stay
in touch with all of your friends. I am shocked people who leave
friends by the wayside out of laziness. Don’t be one of those
fair-weather friends!
December 29: Pepper Pot Day: Pepper
Pot is a Caribbean (particularly Jamaican) stew occurring in many
versions. Some use tripe, some use pork, some use beef or chicken,
some only shrimp. Some confuse it with callaloo, and some call it
American. Whatever you call it, consider this an opportunity to
celebrate comfort food.
December 30: Relaxation Day: Relaxation
is what GOD-DESS is all about, living your life so that you can
enjoy it! If you are having problems relaxing, give me a call. I’m
an expert at relaxation!
December 31: Unlucky Day: There
is no such thing as unluckiness. There is only the opportunity to
learn. The quicker you learn, the luckier you will be.
December 31: New Year's Eve: this is a time when people party,
and make New Year's resolutions. Perhaps that is one reason that
it is also “Make Up Your Mind Day.” I would encourage
you to focus on positive things to add to your life, rather than
removing negative things, as resolutions. Sure, it is good to eliminate
bad habits, but it is even better to live your life positively.
You would be surprised how many of those bad habits disappear on
their own when you truly live your life positively. Celebrate in
moderation.
January 1: The new year. A new beginning.
Resolve to be positive throughout 2004.
On that note, I would urge everyone to do everything they can to
engage in some Sensational Living®. Life is too short to not
make the most of it. Don’t wait until tomorrow. Start today!
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